The dove on Union Church's public art sculpture, "A Bird in the Hand,"
is pictured above nesting comfortably sometime before she was stolen
last September. M.S. Rezny photo courtesy of the Berea Arts Council.

Gilbert twin collared for Union Church dove theft

A bird in the hand may be worth two in a bush, but one Jackson County man could find himself worthy of a jail sentence for having the wrong bird on hand when he was apprehended by local police. Berea police announced the arrest of Bubba Gilbert for allegedly stealing a fiberglass dove from its perch at Union Church. The dove was part of a peace-themed sculpture entitled, “A Bird in the Hand,” which was sponsored by the Union Church Artist’s Coalition. The 40-pound bird went missing on September 5. In an odd twist to the case, authorities revealed that Bubba Gilbert, 39, was discovered to be the evil twin brother of Union Church minister Kent Gilbert. Reverend Gilbert is also a member of Bereans for Peace, which opposed the use of U.S. military force in Iraq and Afghanistan. According to police, Bubba Gilbert was the self-professed founder of a shadow organization, Bereans for Wanton Violence and Destruction (BWVD), which reportedly aims to undermine the local peace movement.

Bubba Gilbert was recently apprehended in connection with the disappearance of the peace dove at Union Church. Police say frustration over his poorly drawn fake beard and mustache may have served as a motive for the incident.

Police got a crucial break in the case when they found a pro-war bumper sticker pasted on the underside of “A Bird in the Hand.” The message was discovered when the six-foot sculpture was recently moved to Lexington for display. Declaring, “War may not be the answer, but let’s give it a fighting chance,” the sticker was said to be the final clue that led police to Bubba Gilbert.

When officers arrived to serve a warrant for Gilbert’s arrest, the pro-war activist was found barricaded inside the BWVD compound with a sizable stockpile of weapons, including 15 Kalashnikov machine guns, 20,000 rounds of ammunition, 78 grenades, 37 shoulder-launched surface-to-air missiles, and a 45-year-old atomic bomb donated by the John Birch Society. Bubba Gilbert denied any wrongdoing in possessing the weapons, claiming they were strictly for hunting and target practice.

Disclaimer: As far as we know, Reverend Kent Gilbert does not have a twin brother, but if he did, we at Berea Online are confident that he would certainly not be evil, nor would he likely be named Bubba. A special thanks to Reverend Gilbert for posing for the Berea Online mug shot of his fictional twin, “Bubba” Gilbert.

Written by Andy McDonald - BereaOnline.com Contributing Editor